The perfection of knowing what you want

I know what I want. I am working to get there.

Não vou vacilar, porque tenho esta certeza absoluta. 

Words and poems

We knew how this would end

What it would cost us

And we did anyway

We played with fire and we both got burned

The friendship we had before is gone

Buried in the ashes of the mess we made

This is the price we pay for lust

But it was so much more than that, wasn't it

We both felt it

The feelings that haven't been felt in years

The effortless comfort

If we called it what it really was

It would hurt a thousand times more

Because it wasn't ours to keep...

Lena Karla

Is it weird?

 

No, seriously. Is it?

Household chores

 Doing the dishes. Praying for destiny to make things happen.

And then clearly listen her words in my mind:

Destiny is for losers. It's just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen.

Blair Waldorf. You genius. You are absolutely right.

I am tapped out

Have no more guilts to give.

It’s not only the fucks now, but also the guilts. 

I do not have a guilty bone on my body anymore. And it feels good.

Current state of mind

The word is Yes. I say it at anything. If an opportunity presents itself I take it. There's nothing I won't try once.

Chuck Bass

Sobre carreira

Em duas semanas desfez-se um bocado a ideia que a minha carreira big corporate vai continuar por mais 20 anos. 

Não aconteceu nada no trabalho, mas simplesmente não quero.  

Começa tudo a ser demasiado cansativo. Uma cruz deste meu recente trabalho. Saber demais é uma cruz, e a ignorância é felicidade.  

Continuo a tentar ignorar, mas começa o cinzento a sair-me pelo poros juntamente com frases to gênero "ganham demasiado dinheiro para não resolverem o problema". Na cara dos mesmos que ganham o dito dinheiro... 

Só me apetece chama-los de incompetentes e claramente perguntar o que e que eles ainda não perceberam!

Not good. Not good at all.

Funny jokes

Me thinking there were no words about it.

Alas, there are. Just not here.

And so I've started...

 

Learning. 

Listening. 

Drafting.

Do

Such a simple word.

Just do. All the small steps for those things that you want to achieve.

Having a motorbike. Writting a book. Have financial options for retirement.

Just do. Bit by bit. Write it down and don't lose sight.

Consistency will take you far away.

Isso

 Basta uma pessoa amar-nos incondicionalmente. 

Sei que já disse isto antes. Mas acreditem em mim, basta uma pessoa que goste do melhor e do pior. 

Uma que não cobre pelo amor, que não exija nada em troca, que não desapareça de repente para parte incerta.  

Basta uma que fique ao nosso lado, que seja porto seguro, que se ria com os nossos erros. 

É por isso é que difícil estragar uma criança. Porque basta uma pessoa. 

É uma verdade que me relaxa. Mesmo que eu nunca o tenha sentido.

E mesmo assim, não sei como, mas não me estragaram totalmente. Causaram estrago, mas não irreparável.  

Things living rent free in my brain

 

Talvez seja aceitar que doi menos

 I am beginning to feel that I cannot be tamed. 

And I tried, damn I am trying.

"Maybe some girls are not meant to be tamed".

Balls of anger no more.

 I read it again. The draft.

And I was so, so angry. And then, I got myself into therapy and I feel nothing. It's as if nothing had happened.

Maybe it's because I set course, and I am not afraid anymore. I will confront, when time is right. I will know when the time is right, so there's nothing to be afraid off.

That sentence: if the mother's role is played out. Then play it out. It was like a 180 degrees shift in perception. 

I am just enjoying the peace and happy. Oh, so happy I do therapy. 

And don't look back in anger, I heard you say.

For this is better